Schwetzingen, Germany
I am not attempting to be controversial here or offend anyone in this series. I reason that God will bless me with a potential wife if it his will, and I am open-minded concerning the issue.
Some of my observations:
In Genesis 2:18, Scripture states that it is not good for man to be alone, and in 1 Corinthians 7:7 it describes a gift of contentment while being single. Based on these verses it is too simplistic to assume that each Christian will either be blessed with a mate, or be content. In my view this is where studying theodicy (the problem of evil in a theistic universe) is useful. If a person leans towards accepting a free will theodicy, knowingly or unknowingly, he/she may tend to blame an unhappy unfulfilled Christian for either not getting married to someone God has supposedly provided or for not being content and struggling with singleness related issues. It may also be assumed that God will eventually either provide a Christian with a mate or contentment. This approach makes assumptions about how God works within creation. This presupposes that God meets every Christians true needs in life if there is a level of faith and obedience, and I believe that this is only true in a sense.
Theologically, I deduce that God will primarily meet a Christians needs in order that the divine will and purposes are completed. However, we must reason that there are Christians that are blind that need to see, amputees that need limbs, cripples that need healing, and so on. These people have natural needs that are not being met within God's will, and it is also reasonable to assume that singleness in some Christians is a lack of needs being met. This does not make God an evil being, as he is under no obligation to meet the needs of sinners, since Christians are saved by grace and do not have any human righteousness, as described in Romans 1:17, and 4-5. Without our own righteousness Christians have no moral standing before God and therefore existence and any blessings from God come from his grace, and not because God is morally obligated to meet our needs. A Christian is justified in Christ alone as in Romans 5:1.
To say that all we need as Christians is a relationship with God and Christ is again only true in a sense. If I was to die this moment and be in the spirit paradise described in Luke 16, and 2 Corinthians 12:1-10, I have absolutely no doubt that all my needs would be met, except for the need for a physical body, which God ultimately promises believers in 1 Corinthians 15:35-58. In contrast even though God is with me currently, being with Christ now in a corrupted creation does not mean all my needs are presently being met and that is an aspect of the problem of evil. Having unmet needs while an infinite, omnipotent, omniscient, holy God exists is an aspect of theodicy, and I believe a sovereignty theodicy can deal with the issue better than a free will approach, because for one, sovereignty theodicy, and my sovereignty theodicy generally better recognizes that God can will evil for the greater good while his motives remain pure. As John Calvin states in The Institutes:
We thus see that there is no inconsistency in attributing the same act to God, to Satan, and to man, while, from the difference in the end and mode of action, the spotless righteousness of God shines forth at the same time that the iniquity of Satan and of man is manifested in all its deformity. Calvin, (1539)(1998) Book II, Chapter 4, Section 2.
It is ultimately true that all of a Christian's needs are met in God and Christ. Every blessing I have in this life and I will have in the next is in Christ, but that does not mean that in this current temporal, sinful environment, if all of my needs are not being met it is because I am not trusting in God sufficiently, or does it mean that all my true needs will be met in this life. Ultimately because of Christ's atoning work and resurrection I will have all my needs met as God culminates his Kingdom as described in Revelation 21-22.
In the meantime, faith and philosophy means I should be open to opportunities, positive change and progression...
CALVIN, JOHN (1539)(1998) The Institutes of the Christian Religion, Book II, Grand Rapids, Wheaton College.
I have attempted over my adult life to rectify my singleness problem through prayer and action. I have made mistakes, but firmly believe I have not made mistakes with a potentially right person. In other words, I do not believe that I am single primarily because of error, but I am single primarily because of God's will.
ReplyDeleteI would like to point out that I have dated somewhat and had several women interested in me via the internet. I have emailed and chatted with many women. I do not suppose I am God's gift to women, the theological Brad Pitt or George Clooney, but I am obviously not some bitter dude that women find repulsive or socially inept.;) But of course you can tell that from the picture.;>
ReplyDeleteBeing a Biblical Christian and single, is a very different reality than trying to date within the world system.
I do think that there is a common perception of "entitlement" among many people, but as the book of Job shows clearly, we must submit ourselves to God's authority and sovereignty.
ReplyDeleteA good point, Chuck. Perhaps some persons are looking for the mate they think they deserve.
ReplyDeleteThere was a time when I thought that, if I never got married (and, even more, if I never had sex), I would die or go crazy.
ReplyDeleteWell, after remaining a virgin for 39 years (longer than anyone I have ever known), which I owe to the fact that I read the Bible from an early age, several times through (besides the obvious fact that I am a born-again Christian), I finally gave in to my lust, a few times with a Cuban girl I was dating. In the heat of passion, common sense often gets left behind; plus, I was not in the habit of sleeping around, so I did not plan for such things; therefore, I did not use any "protection" (that P.C. misnomered term), and for a long time I was worried that I might get some STD. I still don't know for an absolute fact that I don't have a child, but a friend whose wife was friends with my former girlfriend said that they never saw her pregnant (though that doesn't rule out an abortion). I understand that she is married now, and has at least one child (which, from what I can gather, is not mine).
In any case, because of my fornication (I don't consider it adultery, because she wasn't married, although she had been living with a guy for years, and he did refer to her as his "wife"), I lived in fear for a while.
Being a virgin used to be part of my Christian testimony, because I was doing it for Christ. But I can no longer claim that.
After living on my own for a total of 20 years, I am content with being single. Whereas marriage offers companionship and other things, singleness offers freedom and independence, which I have become very much used to. And I constantly keep myself busy. I am a home-body, so I don't normally go out to places like many people do. I am content to be on the computer, or read, or watch TV, or exercise at home, or (most importantly, of course), have devotional time. When I lived in Miami, no matter where I went, almost everyone was speaking Spanish, so maybe I just got used to staying at home partially because of that.
In any case, I am thankful that I never got married, because, though there are definite benefits and blessings to it, there are also many added responsibilities and hardships.
I have become pretty much "stuck in my ways," and at this point, I wouldn't even want a roommate. I grew up with 2 brothers and a sister, and I had roommates while living in a college dorm for 2 years, and I'm tired of having to deal with other people's messes, and other people breaking my things. Living alone, I don't have to worry about those things.
In conclusion, being married vs. being single is a trade-off. There are positives and negatives for either one. If you choose one, you lose the benefits of the other, but you gain what the other thing cannot offer.