Obidos Vila, Natal, Portugal (photo from trekearth.com)
Social rules exist within society. Philosopher Simon Blackburn describes society as a group of persons unified by a set of distinctive and systematic normative relations. Blackburn (1996: 355). Actions of one are perceived as meriting characteristic responses by others, and to be part of society is to be subject to the norms of interaction. Blackburn (1996: 355). Blackburn also writes there is such a thing as social philosophy, which is the attempt to understand and chart the basic categories by which to think about social aspects of human life. Blackburn (1996: 354). Jan Narveson explains that social philosophy is broadly the philosophy of society that includes social science, political philosophy, ethics, and law. Narveson (1996: 747).
Romans 12:2 informs the believer not to be conformed to the world but instead to be transformed by the renewing of the mind. Mounce writes that believers are not to conform themselves to the present age and to set their minds on heavenly and not earthly things. Mounce (1995: 232). Cranfield notes that there have been debates concerning the exact Greek meaning here but writes:
By rendering the second person plural passive present imperatives (in the former case preceded by a negative particle) by ‘stop allowing yourselves to be conformed’ and ‘continue’ to let yourselves be transformed’, respectfully, we have tried to bring out both the sense of the passive imperatives and also, in each case, the significance of the use of the present imperative. Christians still live in ‘this age’. Cranfield (1992: 296).
Christians are to reject the world-system and social norms that would violate the work of God’s Holy Spirit within their lives. This is not to state that all social norms should be rejected, but ones that interfere with God’s plans for an individual need to be abandoned. This allows for the intellectual possibility that Christians as individuals are at times to act contrary to social norms to be within God's will. I reason that Christians should be socially aware, and in some situations certain Christians should follow social norms, and other times certain Christians should not.
I am in my thirties and I have limited experience with dating and romance. I have been very busy working on four academic degrees, and with God’s help striving for academic excellence with some difficult topics including the problem of evil. My main academic discipline for the last three degrees has been theology, but Biblical studies (the major of my first degree) and philosophy (with my two British dissertation degrees) have been important disciplines for me to learn as well. One can see that these three disciplines have all been presented on this blog. Learning three academic disciplines and practical and empirical theology and statistics within theology has been very energy and time consuming, especially for one that has suffered with fatiguing sleep apnea and related surgeries and allergies, and eye problems and related surgeries. I have not been able to meet a compatible Christian young woman, and living within very secular Greater Vancouver has not helped my situation either. I therefore do not share the social experience of many of the women my age who have had relationships, been married, had children, and have perhaps been divorced. Although I consider myself a mature, but imperfect Christian, I am not socially at the same point as many Christian men my age that have experience that parallels the women I mentioned. As a result, I am not ready to, or do I have the desire to date or marry a near or middle-aged woman, and neither do I have any desire at this point to take someone’s pre-teen children or teenagers as my own. Perhaps if I was more romantically experienced I would be willing to be a stepfather, but at this point I am nowhere intellectually there. I also would still like to have my own children, and would consider a relationship with a young woman with a baby or toddler, or perhaps more than one small child. This is my preference, and I reason that God guided me to have such preference. Others can criticize me for my position, as my preference makes it more difficult to find a relationship, but they need to see things from my perspective as an individual Christian that has had a difficult and yet somewhat rewarding life through God’s direction. God’s plans for me and his guidance of my personal preference should always take precedence over social norms. I am a non-conformist, but do not embrace this to be anti-establishment, but I must conform to the life that God has in store for me, and not social norms, when necessary. One should not assume that social norms are what are best for me but should prayerfully look at my individual situation. I need to be open-minded and be willing to change preference if that is God’s will.
Two recent examples of persons that have contacted me via the Christian Café on my free days.
One, 35-40 years old with three teenagers. I do not view it as reasonable to expect me to go from a man with limited experience in his 30s to instant father of teenagers, even if I was attracted to this woman, which I was not.
Two, 40-45 years old, still married but seeking a divorce, with several of her own children and a 32 year old step-son. Again, I do not view this as a reasonable option and I was not attracted to this woman.
I should not be expected to socially follow norms just because of my age, and the fact that due to ageism many younger Christian women in their twenties do not want to date someone in his thirties, despite my commitment to Christ through study, which often seemingly appears unimportant to many. If I cannot find a woman compatible in her twenties to thirties with God’s help, the wise thing is not to conform to social pressure, but to simply stay single. I appreciate those who lovingly and with good intentions provide constructive criticism at church and such, but I must respectfully disagree when needed.
BLACKBURN, SIMON (1996) ‘Social Philosophy’, in Oxford Dictionary of Philosophy, p. 354. Oxford, Oxford University Press.
BLACKBURN, SIMON (1996) ‘Society’, in Oxford Dictionary of Philosophy, p. 355. Oxford, Oxford University Press.
CRANFIELD, C.E.B. (1992) Romans: A Shorter Commentary, Grand Rapids, William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company.
MOUNCE, ROBERT H. (1995) The New American Commentary: Romans, Nashville, Broadman & Holman Publishers.
NARVESON, JAN. (1996) ‘Social Philosophy’, in Robert Audi (ed.), The Cambridge Dictionary of Philosophy, Cambridge, Cambridge University Press.
Ilulissat, Greenland (photo from trekearth.com)
I do not personally relate to any of these situations!
Russ;)
http://satireandtheology.blogspot.com/2007/12/yesterdayi-threw-
my-common-sense-away.html
