As well on that Sunday, at the barbecue I was in a discussion with a few men about the singleness issue. I agreed in the discussion that mutual physical attraction was not as important as mutual spiritual and intellectual attraction, but I have not as an adult primarily concentrated on looks in women. We should be careful within the Christian Church not to be too critical of singles, telling them that intellect and physical attraction do not matter in romantic relationship, in the hopes of getting them to conform to age-related norms, for example.
I firmly believe that Christians need to have at least a minimally significant, as opposed to maximally significant, spiritual, intellectual, and physical mutual attraction for a relationship to work well. To tell someone not to expect this, from a Christian perspective, is to expect significant commitment in marriage, without significant attraction, and I reason that this is philosophically flawed. Just because a person is past his/her twenties, should not mean that he/she needs to toss standards aside in order to meet some social standard.
I personally have on many occasions, through prayer especially, subjected my standards to God for revision, and so I am willing to change if that is God’s guiding will. An argument is sometimes made by pastors and theologians that Biblically speaking, sinful sexual desire must be countered by marriage, and therefore persons should marry if not content being single.
1 Corinthians 7: 9
First Corinthians 7:9 from the New American Standard Bible states: But if they do not have the self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn.
Referencing Greek New Testament.com
HTML Bible Software © 2001-2007 by johnhurt.com
The linked website presents five manuscript versions: Only slight manuscript variations from the top three, which are from the majority text and the bottom two from minority texts. Clickable image...
But the root word 'better' and the variants all mean 'better' in context.
Cited
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Thayer's Greek Lexicon
STRONGS NT 2909 Original word κρείττων, ον
Defined as 'better'.
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Englishman's Concordance
1 Corinthians 7:9 Adj-NNS
GRK: ἐγκρατεύονται γαμησάτωσαν κρεῖττον γάρ ἐστιν
NAS: let them marry; for it is better to marry
KJV: for it is better to marry than
INT: they have self-control let them marry better indeed it is
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γαμέω means to marry with the variants.
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purousqai (Purousqai) is the New Testament Greek word for ‘burn’ here. The Greek New Testament (1993: 581). Strong defines the root word burn here as purow. He explains that the word burn comes from the Greek word for fire pur. Strong (1986: 84). Strong defines the root word ‘puroo’ in 7:9 as to kindle, to be ignited, glow, be refined, to be inflamed with anger, grief, lust, to burn, fiery, be on fire, try. Strong (1986: 84). Bauer explains that πυροῦσθαι (burn) is figurative and means 'to burn with sexual desire.' Bauer (701).
Cited
Strong's Greek: 4448. πυρόω (puroó) — 6 Occurrences
1 Corinthians 7:9 V-PNM/P (Verb-Present, Infinitive, Middle or Passive)
GRK: γαμῆσαι ἢ πυροῦσθαι
NAS: to marry than to burn [with passion].
KJV: to marry than to burn.
INT: to marry than to burn with passion
Fee writes that the use of the word ‘burn’ here is metaphorical, and could refer to either burning with desire or burning in judgment. Fee (1987: 289). Fee thinks the context shows that the meaning is inner desire. Fee (1987: 289). Paul was stating that rather than being consumed by sexual sin, one should marry. Fee (1987: 289). Fee explains that marriage here is the proper alternative for those struggling with desire and sin. Fee (1987: 289).
Reflections
First Corinthians 7:9 shows that a Christian struggling with sexual sin should pursue marriage, but I must point out that if there is not at least minimal, significant mutual attraction, the ‘burn’ will not be appeased. A person struggling with desire will not very likely overcome the desire to be with someone attractive, by being with someone that he/she does not find attractive, and I am not meaning this in solely or primarily physical terms. Yes, mutual spiritual and intellectual mutual attraction is idealistically and generally, more important than mutual physical attraction. But in the Christian community, people should take caution with potential, romantic, critiques and realize that marriage in itself is not a remedy for sexual sin, but marriage in spiritual, intellectual, physical, mutual attraction can be.
Men's groups are generally not the solution on this issue, at least for men than actually are motivated to potentially biblically deal with the problem of the 'burn'. For an intellectual, biblical, theological, Christian man of my age and position, meeting more relatable women of marriageable age, is far more beneficial than a men's group, men's retreat etcetera. Men's groups, seems to me are generally more for married men with families that idealistically, at least, have the 'burn' issue realistically dealt with within marriage. With all due respect (not stating my church), but in the evangelical church overall, I am detecting a serious misreading of the situation for many single men that are thirty years old plus in age. Many times biblical, theological Christian single men seeking a wife do not need a male motivational event, etcetera. What they need is more relatable, Christian women, where there is significant, spiritual, intellectual, physical, mutual attraction, to be available.
BAUER, WALTER. (1979) A Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament, Translated by Eric H. Wahlstrom, Chicago, The University of Chicago Press.
CLINES, DAVID, J. A. (1986), 2 Corinthians, The International Bible Commentary, Grand Rapids, Zondervan.
COURSON, JON (2005) Application Commentary, Thomas Nelson, Nashville.
FEE, GORDON (1987) The First Epistle to the Corinthians, Grand Rapids, William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company.
MARSH, PAUL, W. (1986) ‘1 Corinthians’, in F.F. Bruce, (ed.), The International Bible Commentary, Grand Rapids, Marshall Pickering/Zondervan.
STRONG, J. (1986) Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Pickering, Ontario, Welch Publishing Company.
THE GREEK NEW TESTAMENT (1993) Stuttgart, United Bible Societies.
WENHAM, J.W. (1991) The Elements of New Testament Greek, Cambridge, Cambridge University Press.
