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| Tonight: Forty minute round trip walk to and from Christmas party. |
Devouring a lifetime of courtship. Posted on December 8, 2017
Cited
'I’ve written in the past about women’s complaints that men aren’t meeting their expectations for courtship, and why it is entirely rational for men to either withdraw from traditional courtship altogether or limit and carefully target their courtship expenditure. Women have (as a group) greatly expanded the period of time they expect men to court them.'
I would reason that many Christian men are not dating or courting Christian women, because it is not considered rationally a good deal. This even while considering the Biblical theology from 1 Corinthians 7 and 2 Corinthians 6, as examples, if one is so theologically inclined.
Cited
'But what about her imagined future husband? Will it be worth the wait for him? If she’s 53 and still hasn’t found him yet, he’ll probably be in his 50s or early 60s by the time they marry. Will 30-40 years of courtship all be worth it to marry a woman who is too old to have children, a woman who spent her youth building her career while forming and dissolving romantic attachments with a parade of other men? Was it really God’s plan for him to spend 40 years wandering in a sexual desert, buying an endless string of unserious and ever more demanding women dinner (and more), to ultimately marry a woman in her 50s?'
Many Christian men may have not given up on dating and marriage by this time, but they will be significantly discouraged by the philosophical fusion of feminism and evangelical Christian culture with a little bible (maybe) in the typical female romantic relationship philosophy.
Cited
'As a sign of our age, not one of the 98 reviews currently on Amazon.com points out how ridiculous it is for a never married woman in her fifties to offer herself as a husband hunting role model.'
Agreed.
Marriage strike paradox. Posted on November 8, 2017
Cited
'What we are seeing instead is women continuing to push out the age of marriage. As they are doing this, they are changing the signal young men receive regarding how to be sexually successful. Beta Bucks (BB) used to be a very effective strategy for an 18 year old young man. He might have to wait a few years, but he could see the plan working for his 3-5 year older bother and his friend’s older brother. Now a young man would have to look to men 10-15 years older to see examples of the BB model finally paying off. Meanwhile, they see the Alpha F**** (AF) model working all around them. AF gets rewarded, and BB is not only not rewarded for a decade or more, but our whole society (especially Christians) despises husbands and fathers, the epitome of the BB model. This is a very powerful message, and an unmistakable one.'
I do not view husbands and fathers as being despised in the Metropolitan Vancouver and Fraser Valley evangelical Christian culture.
But, yes, the extroverted men would tend to do better in the dating and marriage department. Sadly, whether someone is an extrovert or introvert has nothing to do with Biblical character.
Personality over character, in many Western, Christian romantic relationships, as I have mentioned previously. This shows how little depth many evangelicals have today in the romantic choices they make.
Cited
'Not surprisingly, we are starting to see fewer men working hard to signal BB status in their late teens and early 20s. When the party girls suddenly decide they aren’t that kind of girl, they still find nearly all of the would be BB men are willing to marry, but many of these men haven’t done the preparation needed to really fulfill the role. They can no more go back and spend their teens and 20s on education and career advancement than the 30 ish career gal can go back and dedicate her most attractive and fertile years to her husband. Many of the men they find have instead been working like women. Also, the men who did well in the AF paradigm and are eventually inclined (and prepared) to marry aren’t going to prefer aging career gals. They are the ones with options, and the prettiest marriage seekers have the best shot with them. This means the women who waited too long to marry are stuck with terrible prospects. Choosing last always sucks, but men’s rational response to women’s anti-BB signal means it sucks much more now than it did in the past.'
'When the party girls suddenly decide they aren’t that kind of girl, they still find nearly all of the would be BB men are willing to marry, but many of these men haven’t done the preparation needed to really fulfill the role. '
Yes, many of these men would lack dating and romantic relationship experience.
'They can no more go back and spend their teens and 20s on education and career advancement than the 30 ish career gal can go back and dedicate her most attractive and fertile years to her husband.'
I spent my twenties on career advancement in academia, but the second point is problematic and true.
'Also, the men who did well in the AF paradigm and are eventually inclined (and prepared) to marry aren’t going to prefer aging career gals. They are the ones with options, and the prettiest marriage seekers have the best shot with them. This means the women who waited too long to marry are stuck with terrible prospects. Choosing last always sucks, but men’s rational response to women’s anti-BB signal means it sucks much more now than it did in the past.'
I can agree than many extroverted men are not going to be prefer aging women. The same for many introverted men. I do reason that many men will still prefer romantic relationships with a close age difference. But this will be the men that will tend not to desire children.
That is not me.
'but men’s rational response to women’s anti-BB signal means it sucks much more now than it did in the past.'
The rational response being non-participation, unless a suitable Christian young woman is met. I am not stating that many rational Christian men will be anti-social (nor should they be), but the reasonable Christian male will not invest in what does not seem rational to do.
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