Cognitive Dissonance & The Conflict

British Columbia: July 31, 2018

Definitions

Philosopher George A. Graham explains cognitive dissonance as the mental discomfort that arises from conflicting beliefs or attitudes held simultaneously, meaning at the very same time.

The concept came from a book from Leon Festinger in 1957. Graham (1996: 127). 

Blackburn mentions that Festinger was an American psychologist. The related book was 'Theory of Cognitive Dissonance'. Festinger suggested that cognitive dissonance had 'motivational characteristics' meaning that when it occurs the amount of dissonance depends on the relative intensities with the dissonant elements. Graham (1996: 127).

It may take place in two major areas, as in self-deception and weakness of the will. Graham (1996: 127). A key point raised by Graham is that one may become weak-willed when dissonance arises from the expected and reasonably understood results and consequences of doing what is right. Graham (1996: 128).

Blackburn writes that Festinger's research and concepts led to ideas that a person's known wrong concepts may lead to reformation and strategies of belief that are surprising. Blackburn (1996: 67). 
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The Conflict

On Facebook we have a private chat group that includes myself (The Kingpin, this nickname given to me based on my physical resemblance to the Marvel Comics villain of that name), Chucky, The Rage, and 007.

Theologically, our Facebook chat group reasons that Christian dating and marriage should not be primarily based on (1).

1. Western, secular concepts of perceived equality. In other words, one should ethically and morally only date with the potential of marriage, those of the opposite sex with perceived like/similar and equal levels of physical attractiveness (similar attributes) and like/similar physical age.

This type of philosophy (paraphrased) has been embraced by some in local Christian 'singles' groups. Dogmatically by some in 'leadership'.

February 23

Note: Please notice my very intentional use of 'dogmatically by some (leadership)', that clearly implies not all. I realize this type of view is sometimes held to a degree and not dogmatically, hence my original writing.

Please be aware, I was/am very much aware of this theoretical exception in evangelical ministry. I have heard/read it from, for example, an American ministry that states technically it is not opposed to age difference, but then the bulk of their presentations are negative on the subject and promotes close age range relationships. This particular American ministry has mentioned terms such as 'creepy' (audio) in regards to an older man seeking a much younger date.

Practically, the end result is still (1).

We prefer as reasonable:

2. In Jesus Christ, one should date with the potential for marriage, those of the opposite sex where there is mutual spiritual/intellectual (Genesis 1-2, 2 Corinthians 6 as examples), and physical (1 Corinthians 7, as example) attraction.

Cognitive dissonance can occur when proponents of (1) in 'singles' groups, particularly as public proponents, unofficial 'leaders' not sanctioned by any denomination, church or institution, personally embrace in his/her dating life beliefs and actions that contradict (1) .

These views (actions) actually place much emphasis on dating (for the potential of marriage?) him/her of the opposite sex of perceived superior physical attractiveness (not similar attributes in some key ways) that is of an objectively, significantly younger age.

Meanwhile, in verbal and written form, privately and publicly insisting others such as those of us in our chat group, should follow (1) and not any view such as (2).

...cognitive dissonance as the mental discomfort that arises from conflicting beliefs or attitudes held simultaneously, meaning at the very same time. 

BLACKBURN, SIMON (1996) Oxford Dictionary of Philosophy, Oxford, Oxford University Press. 

GRAHAM A, GEORGE (1996) ‘Cognitive Dissonance’, in Robert Audi (ed.), The Cambridge Dictionary of Philosophy, Cambridge, Cambridge University Press.