A Tension: Career v Marriage-Brief comments on a video sent to me

 

A Tension: Career v Marriage-Brief comments on a video sent to me from The Rage

Preface

My good friend, John 'The Rage' sent this You Tube video to me. This is my attempt at objectivity.

Initial comments

At the 5:35 mark, forward (paraphrased), Doug Wilson, states that often a young woman thinks she should postpone marriage and children, so that she can concentrate on a career. Wilson reasons that her chances of marrying well will be much higher when she marries in her early twenties. (Paraphrased) He explains that it would be foolish to say 'no' to a man, that is a potential romantic partner, for a bad reason, such as implied career goals. He reasons that it is okay to say 'no' to a man that she is not attracted to.

Personally, I think there is a philosophical/theological tension here with the biblical instruction to marry and the modern need for many Christian women, at least, to have a career.

Tension part I

I can agree with Wilson that biblically, theologically and philosophically, a young woman should pursue a husband. I will mention, for example, and this is just one related issue, to avoid lust and fornication (Mathew 5 and 1 Corinthians 7, as examples). If she has a gift of contentment, she is free to be unmarried, but in a modern context, she should also not date or have romantic relationships.

1 Corinthians 7: 8 ESV (English Standard Version) 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 

In 2007, I wrote

Monday, September 10, 2007 Burn

Referencing

Greek New Testament 

purousqai (Purousqai) is the New Testament Greek word for ‘burn’ here. The Greek New Testament (1993: 581). Strong defines the root word burn here as purow. He explains that the word burn comes from the Greek word for fire pur. Strong (1986: 84). Strong defines the root word ‘puroo’ in 7:9 as to kindle, to be ignited, glow, be refined, to be inflamed with anger, grief, lust, to burn, fiery, be on fire, try. Strong (1986: 84). 

Fee writes that the use of the word ‘burn’ here is metaphorical, and could refer to either burning with desire or burning in judgment. Fee (1987: 289). Fee thinks the context shows that the meaning is inner desire. Fee (1987: 289). Paul was stating that rather than being consumed by sexual sin, one should marry. Fee (1987: 289). Fee explains that marriage here is the proper alternative for those struggling with desire and sin. Fee (1987: 289). 

First Corinthians 7:9 shows that a Christian struggling with sexual sin should pursue marriage, but I must point out that if there is not at least minimal, significant mutual attraction, the ‘burn’ will not be appeased. A person struggling with desire will not very likely overcome the desire to be with someone attractive, by being with someone that he/she does not find attractive, and I am not meaning this in solely or primarily physical terms. We need to be careful in the Church and realize that marriage in itself is not a remedy for sexual sin, but marriage in mutual attraction can be. 

Tension part II

When I was pursuing a PhD, I can honestly state that significantly, because of my academic pursuits and homecaring for my Mother (now these issues are resolved), I was unable to meet a suitable, intellectual, young woman to consider for marriage. I agree with many psychological observers that in the modern western world, in most cases, a woman chooses the man, and the man can accept the woman's choice or not. I absolutely, would not have rejected a reasonable, potential romantic possibility, because I was pursuing a PhD. 

In the same way, in my humble opinion, biblically, theologically and philosophically, a Christian, young woman will likely need both a career and to be open to a potential husband. If she never finds a right man, she needs the financial ability to support herself. But, if she intentionally waits past her twenties for a reasonable man and rejects one or more reasonable potentials, indeed her options will likely be less, once she is past 35 years of age, with the likely decline of procreation abilities. If not sooner due to perceived ageing. In my case, being a youthful male, I still have procreating abilities (possibilities, not certainties at any age) past 35 years of age, so often a man's situation is different.

(By the way, is this not nature's (God's) way of stating that age gap relationships, older male, are natural? But I digress)

FEE, GORDON (1987) The First Epistle to the Corinthians, Grand Rapids, William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company. 

THE GREEK NEW TESTAMENT (1993) Stuttgart, United Bible Societies. 

STRONG, J. (1890)(1986) Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, Pickering, Ontario, Welch Publishing Company. 

WENHAM, J.W. (1991) The Elements of New Testament Greek, Cambridge, Cambridge University Press.